I Love Quitters

On average – maybe once a week – someone reaches out to me and says something like, “Hey, can we talk? I’ve been thinking about a career change. I know you did it, but how did you know it was the right time to quit?”

This question comes up in my Masterminds, in Group Coaching, at team events, and in one-on-one settings. I hear it from entrepreneurs, coaches, and leaders in all industries. So many people are unsure if it is ok to make a change.

I understand the pain in the question; we live in a society that prides itself on not quitting. Our love of sports reinforces the idea that we are not quitters. We will support a team with a decade-long losing record, all in the name of not giving up on them!

There have been entire business models created to capitalize on this mentality. For example, Successories – the motivational poster-designed company – made its fortune by cheering us on. Maybe you have seen their Commitment poster, which states, "The road to success is sometimes long and arduous. It takes unwavering commitment and a will to succeed in order to complete the journey."

But what if you are on the wrong road? Maybe a few years ago, you took a wrong turn. What happens when you realize you are no longer interested in the final destination of this particular road? Are we required to stay committed to the journey of our past selves? Many people would say yes, but it is a resounding no for me.

I will admit I am the last person you should ask about making a change. You shouldn’t ask me about moving abroad or going back to school. You shouldn’t ask me about breaking up with someone or leaving your career. You shouldn’t ask me about living off the grid or starting a new business because the odds are very high that I will tell you to make a change.

Six years ago, I left my career in college athletics and started my own business from scratch. Not only did it work, but I survived a global pandemic, and now my business is thriving. I know this is not the norm, and it feels dangerous to advise everyone to quit everything. But also, you might want to think about quitting 😊

A few weeks ago, I was on a long walk listening to a podcast. The topic of quitting came up again; it really does show up in so many facets of my life. The host explained that the origin of the word quit is quietus which originally meant “to set yourself free.” The western connotation of the word quit shifted during the industrial revolution when there was a high demand for workers. Our culture couldn’t afford to have people quit.

I love quitters; I love people who set themselves free.

My decision to leave my career was connected to saying no and saying yes. I had to say, “not this, not now, not anymore,” before I could say yes to what was next. We can only carry so much, and I had to set down coaching before I could fully embrace consulting. I know people who try to say yes to the next thing without saying no to the current thing. These people end up average and exhausted by everything they are trying to do. Quitting one thing allows the space for something new to emerge.

A barrier I have noticed on the quitter's journey is the need to have it all figured out before you start. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but there are some things you won’t know until you get there. You just need to do the next right thing; one problem, one solution, one step at a time. Life is not meant to be led with a map but rather with a compass that points you in the right direction.

If your soul is telling you to change directions, then put one foot in front of the other. Either a path will emerge, or you will create a new path. Set it down, say no, quit, and start moving forward into a new space.

So why does this question keep showing up in my life? I believe people are looking for permission and validation, but I’ve learned that no one can give you permission to save yourself; only you can do that.

There is so much value in doing what you want—being in a space where your gifts and skills are utilized and appreciated feels magical. But the truth is, you don’t have to imagine what that feels like; you could choose to live this every day. However, this will require you to say no to some things that may have become a part of your complex identity.

One of the fears I hear from many people wrestling with a change is, “but who will I be if I am no longer a coach, a nurse, or a manager?” I smile when I hear this because I know, in time, they will discover they were never any of those things; those were simply jobs, titles, and descriptors.

Who will you be if you quit? You will be the one who saved yourself, and you are worth saving.

Get your “Lightbulb Moments!” Your email arrives every other Wednesday filled with insights I ONLY share with my private clients … and YOU!