It’s. Not. My. Luggage.

Today started early. Way too early.

Last night, I arrived at my hotel a little after 11pm. I tried to go right to bed, but my brain would not power down. After a night of tossing and turning and solving all the world's problems, my alarm jolted me back to life at 5:30am.

I took a shower, drank some tea, ate a Power Crunch bar, repacked my stuff, and checked out of my hotel by 6:30 am. I got in my rental car and headed to a college campus for a full day of meetings.

My first session began at 7:45am, and my last session ended just before 3pm. I had to work through lunch, and unfortunately – due to my travel schedule – I needed to eat my next meal at the airport. The Regional Airport I was flying out of offered two food options; a vending machine or a small market that sold chips, candy bars, sodas, and anything they could put in a frier. This included fried chicken tenders, French fries, fried cheese sticks, or fried jalapeno poppers. I opted for the fried combo.

While wiping the grease from my fingers, I heard the dreaded announcement that my flight was delayed. I had a connecting flight in Chicago with a long layover, so I knew I would be fine. I found a quiet corner in the nearly empty terminal and spent time reflecting on the day.

Eventually, we made it to Chicago, where – you guessed it – my last flight was also delayed. We finally boarded around 9:30pm. Since I was flying on Southwest, I was free to select a window seat. A pilot from another airline was in the aisle, and the middle seat was empty. Fingers crossed.

Unfortunately, that seat stayed empty for just a moment. A woman who was carrying a lot of stuff – both physically and emotionally – made her way into the middle seat. Her bags and her elbows were everywhere. Respecting personal space was clearly not one of her core values.  

As a frequent flyer, I can usually sense when something isn't right. We should have closed the main door by now. We should have heard some announcements. We should have pulled away from the gate. But that wasn't happening. I also noticed that new passengers were joining us every couple of minutes.

It was clear to me that we were on the last flight to St. Louis, and we were waiting for additional people. You could feel the tension rising, and then we heard, "Ahhh, passengers, thank you for your patience. We are just waiting on some bags. We will be ready to go as soon they find them and get them loaded."

Did he just say, "As soon as they find them?" Rookie mistake!

Ms. Elbows turns to the Pilot beside her and says, "Oh really? Is that so? Or is that just something they are saying? Does that really happen?"

Mr. Pilot calmly replies, "Yes, Ma'am, this is the last flight of the night, so they will do everything possible to get all the luggage on the plane."

Ms. Elbows fires back, "Oh please!" (Insert eye roll.)

Mr. Pilot responds, "Well, if it were your luggage, you would want them to do everything possible for you."

Without a second thought, she yelled, "It's NOT MY LUGGAGE!" and then she pulled her hoodie down over her face, and with a huff, she silenced herself.

And that was the moment I pulled out my laptop and began this post. Yes, I'd like to go home too, I'm hungry again, and it's been a full day, but I also realize this moment is not about me.

As I look around, I can see that the last few passengers to board our flight may very well be immigrants. I am hearing different languages and noticing different styles of clothing. I can't help but wonder if we are waiting on their luggage. To me, it is worth the wait. I know firsthand what it feels like to want your sweatshirt that smells like home, or the last of your favorite homemade snack, or the shampoo or toothpaste that is familiar to you.

It amazes me how many people lack empathy. This idea that we shouldn't wait ten more minutes because it isn't MY luggage isn't something I can comprehend, but I see it all the time with my clients. There are so many individuals who simply cannot embrace the needs of the group, but high-performing teams embrace empathy. They set aside their personal needs and wants for the sake of the team. This is what allows them to perform at the highest level.  

Empathy on teams is essential because it increases trust. When individuals feel that their teammates understand and care about them, they are more likely to trust each other because they don't have to be the sole holders of their needs. This trust also opens up space for honest dialog, often leading to deeper and more meaningful relationships.  

I have also noticed that empathy tends to foster a sense of collaboration. People are more willing to collaborate when they know they are seen and heard. This, in turn, allows them to work more effectively, make better decisions, and move toward innovative solutions.

Empathy matters. I know for sure that I want to surround myself with people who will see past their own needs and put the group first. I'd say more, but we just got word that the lost luggage has been found, and it is time to return my seatback and tray table to their original and locked position.

Here's to hoping that my seatmate sleeps the rest of the flight …

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