I Was Wrong

A few months ago, a famous author with several hundred thousand followers posted something on social media that felt dangerous. His words seemed shortsighted, potentially harmful to people struggling with mental health, and lacked sensitivity and compassion.

I rarely comment on social posts. A stranger’s opinion does not have much leverage, but I draw a line regarding mental health. I understand that a thoughtless post by a well-respected celebrity with a platform may be triggering to someone in pain.

In my reply, I pointed out the flaw in his logic and asked him to reconsider his statement. My words were written with intentionality and came from a place of genuine concern. After commenting, I put my phone away and hopped on a Zoom.

Later, I noticed a significant amount of Twitter notifications.  There were messages like, “You said that better than I could have,” “His reply was uncalled for, and “Thank you for speaking up.” To my shock, the author had doubled down on his stance. His reply was childish, and his words were poorly constructed. One follower messaged me, saying, “He’s having a public meltdown.”

His reply told me a lot about his growth mindset; it appeared to be stunted. He wasn’t open to another perspective or learning how someone else might experience his words. When we go all-in on a statement or belief, we close the door to opportunities for growth and dialog.

Contrast this with Adam Grant, author of Think Again. The premise of this book is just what the title says. When we think again, we may discover that we were wrong, misguided, or a better way to make a point. There is incredible value in continuing to unpack what we think we know. This approach keeps us in a flow of growth.

A few months after releasing his bestselling book, Adam Grant posted something online that was poorly received. Followers called him out and asked him to “think again,” and he did. He accepted the invitation to rethink and restate his words in real time and on a public platform. My respect for him grew exponentially at that moment, not because he said what I wanted him to say but because he was open to the process of thinking again.

Does the work of thinking again only fall on the shoulders of celebrities with verified social media accounts? No, I believe it is ours to carry as well.

As a speaker and facilitator, I often notice when my clients write down something I have said. It is a cue that people are interested in a theme and that I should consider diving deeper and creating more content around what they wrote down.

For many years, I had a phrase that people always took note of – it was a go-to – I could guarantee it would get their attention. But a few years ago, I had a new feeling about that statement; I was unsure it was for me anymore. I was unable to pinpoint the issue or articulate how I was feeling. I just knew I was questioning if I wanted to continue sharing that insight with my audience.

Over time and with much self-reflection, I realized – in that season of my life – it felt like I was sharing something that could potentially do harm. As a result, I wanted and needed to think again.

I began my research, considered the impact of my words, and understood I could do harm even with the best intentions. As a result, I decided to stop sharing something that had been a part of my routine.

I have wrestled with my feelings about this revelation. Do I regret sharing those words? Do I feel bad? Do I need to apologize? The truth is, I am not sure. What I do know is that for a season of my life, those words and that message felt right, and then one day, they no longer felt right. I had to think again.

As a result, I decided to stop sharing that statement. When it no longer felt right, I made a change.

Are you wondering what the statement was that everyone wrote down? Well, I am not going to share it. While I know that message is no longer for me, I realize some people may be in a season where there is still value in those words. Life is contextual, and I want to value and honor our differences.

I have learned that when we fail to think again, we miss the opportunity to pursue a growth path. My experience has been that it is rarely my way or your way, but more often, a third way. I am better – and so are those I lead – when I am open to a third way. This is a challenge for all leaders; we must be willing to consider new ways of saying and doing things.

For me, the moral of the story is to consistently embrace the opportunity to think again and to welcome that invitation from others. In doing so, we open doors to a whole new world.

 Are you willing to think again?

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