There Was a Hair in My Eye

The day began like most non-travel days. I made some tea, grabbed a protein bar and vitamins, and sat down in my favorite recliner. I selected some calming music to play in the background and started checking email on my laptop.

While working, I noticed that I kept rubbing my left eye; it felt irritated. I took a break from my work, walked into the bathroom, stood in front of the mirror, and examined my eye. I expected it to be red, but it wasn’t. I looked for a wild out-of-place eyelash that might be brushing my eye, but I didn’t see anything. I returned to my recliner but couldn’t stop rubbing my eye. A few minutes later, I walked back to the mirror, and again, nothing.

While I couldn’t see anything out of place, I knew something was wrong. My eye just didn’t feel right. As I made my way to the mirror for a third time, I came well-equipped with eye drops and a small flashlight. I leaned in close, pulled my eyelid up and down, looked left and right, added eyedrops, and then it happened. As I was leaning in, examining every part of my eye, I noticed a hair. It was about half an inch long and lodged deep down in the bottom of my eye.

This is where this gets strange; I recently had a haircut, and it was clear that was where the hair came from.

But that haircut was FOUR days ago.

The thought that I had something in my eye for four days is mind-blowing. I kept thinking, “How did I not know I had a hair in my eye? How could I not see it?”

We can’t see some things until the pain becomes unbearable. Pain can be a significant warning system.

As I look at my life, I notice the times when I had to “get close to the mirror.” In other words, I needed to do a deep dive into my own self-reflection. I had to lean in and really see what was going on. It’s hard to admit, but there were times when I thought I could just “power-though” or outwork the pain. I am so glad that I have evolved as a person. I am now much more aware of when to pause, reflect, and listen to the pain.

We may be unable to name the exact problem; sometimes, we just know something is wrong. That’s how I felt with my eye that day; I couldn’t see the issue, but I knew something wasn’t right. When this happens, we have to trust ourselves.

The reality is that many of us live with pain longer than we should. As leaders, high performers, and people of influence, we need to trust ourselves and encourage others to do the same 

A few months ago, I was working with a corporate group. The leader who had hired me was concerned about the group’s dynamics. After an hour with the group, it was clear to me that one member of the team was not trustworthy. His statements were inconsistent, and the group shifted in negative ways every time he spoke. As the day went on, I felt confident he was the driver of their issues. This guy was a pain.

During my debrief with the leader, I said, “Tell me about Rob.”

She took a deep breath and said, “I’ve had some concerns, but he is really good at his work. He always hits his numbers. The data on him is excellent.”

I replied, “Tell me more about your concerns?”

As our conversation progressed, it became evident that she couldn’t yet see all the issues. We had to do some serious unpacking for her to be able to see what was really going on. We talked about how everyone he supervised has left the company, how much money it costs the company to hire and train new people, and how he has impacted the overall culture in negative ways.  

After 30 minutes of talking, she leaned back in her chair and said, “How could I not see this?”

All of us – but especially leaders who are responsible for the experiences of others – need to be intentional about trusting ourselves when we feel like something is off. She had her concerns and knew there was an issue, but she trusted the data rather than herself.

The next time you sense something isn’t right, get close, peel back the layers, look at it from multiple angles, and trust yourself.

I needed to remove a hair in my eye. What do you need to remove from your life?

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