Leadership: Be a Good Human

One of my former assistant coaches recently called to share a great experience with me. As we talked about her story, we discovered that it resonated with what we both believe about being a good leader.

My friend now works with aging adults, many of whom are struggling with memory loss. On this day she was at a gym working with a man who was well into his late 80’s. They were doing some exercises on a stationary bike when he shared that he needed to use the restroom. As he got off the bike my friend noticed that this man was having a hard time balancing himself. Normally he uses a walker, but he didn’t bring his walker because he left it at a party over the weekend! (That’s a story for another day.)

As he struggled to find his balance my friend asked if he could use some help and he quickly replied, “yes.” So, she put her arm around his waist, and he put his arm around her shoulder. It might be helpful to mention that this man is well over 275 pounds and my friend, well, she is about half that size. She certainly couldn’t prevent him from falling but she knew that providing him with someone to lean on would be helpful.

When he came out of the restroom, she noticed that he had changed from sweatpants to shorts and he asked for some help putting his shoes and socks back on. I don’t know about you, but sweaty gym feet are not one of my favorite things, but of course, my friend said she’d be glad to help him. She knelt down and proceeded to help with his shoes and socks. As they both stood up, my friend once again put her arm around him, and he did the same as they made their way back to the stationary bike. 

When the workout was complete, they needed to walk to the front of the building which was a long way for this man without his walker. So, my friend found a chair with wheels and she took it took him thinking he could use it as a substitute walker. To my friend’s surprise, the man was grinning ear to ear as he proudly sat down in the chair! My friend then had to push this man who was twice her size to the front of the building in the rolling chair! But hey, at least he made it there safely.

As she shared this story with me we discovered a great leadership lesson; the reality is she didn’t have to help him find his balance, or help him put on his shoes and socks, or push him in a chair through the entire gym! None of those tasks were in her job description. She did it because she saw a need and she chose to respond to that need. In fact, multiple times she saw something this man needed and every time she responded to those needs. As we talked, she shared that she didn’t think of this as being a leader until after the fact. In the moment, she just did what she could do to help. I wish more people could understand that leadership isn’t about a title, seniority, or one’s pay grade; it’s about being present for and responding to the needs of others. 

Leadership is a delicate balance between being and doing. When we can be present with people and respond to their needs we are shifting into a healthy model of authentic leadership. The best leaders I know operate from this mindset. They understand that people have needs and that they are always capable of acknowledging and responding to those needs. Too often we view leadership as a blueprint with a complex set of rules to follow. Sometimes leadership simply means showing up for others in real and tangible ways.

I often say that leadership is a lot like being human and that the world needs more good humans. I strongly believe that investing in your growth and development is important, but what if your most valuable step in leadership development isn’t to earn another credential but rather to focus on being a good human? Is it possible that one of the best investments we can make is to intentionally pause, to practice self-inquiry, to gain clarity on who we are and what we stand for so that the best version of ourselves is what shows up in our leadership and in the world? Could it be that authentic leadership is really an expression of our full humanity?

I think Jerry Colonna says it best: “Better leaders are better humans and better humans are better leaders. Leadership lessons, then, are at their core, lessons in humanity.”

My challenge to you today: be so present with people that you clearly see their needs. Once you understand their needs be brave enough to respond even, and especially when, it isn’t in “your job description.” Your people aren’t asking you to be perfect and to have all the answers. They are, however, asking you to show up.

Be the kind of leader who shows up being fully human.

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