Posts in leadership development
Disruption Can Be Life-Giving

At least once a week, someone asks me how I handle so much travel. It’s a question that always catches me off guard. I don’t feel like I travel as much as they assume, and this year, I’ve significantly cut back on work trips. But I get it—if you rarely travel, it probably seems like I’m always on the go.

However, I’ve sat next to plenty of salespeople on flights who spend Monday through Friday in a different city each day. Now that’s a lot of travel! But no matter how often you travel, we all face our own challenges.

For me, it’s food. Between hotel breakfast buffets and airport meals, it’s easy to consume 1,500 calories in a single sitting. Not to mention, some hotels are in industrial areas where finding a decent restaurant can feel like a scavenger hunt.

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Growing Up Too Fast

I’m guessing that most of us, as children, were told not to rush growing up, to enjoy our childhood, and that being an adult was not that much fun.

I heard those words when the adults around me thought I was trying to grow up too fast.

A few months ago, I found myself in a high-stress situation in my personal life. As the afternoon unfolded, I realized that all the work I had done on myself allowed me to be fully present and not give in to the overwhelming tension of the moment. While those around me were in complete chaos, I remained grounded and steady.

While I was grateful for my personal growth, I quickly realized that the same things that allowed the best of me to emerge—therapy, retreats, group work, and self-reflection—also created a significant gap between myself and those around me.

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I Didn't Trust Myself

“I am just so sick of all the questions! She doesn’t trust me. Every time I make a decision or announce a new policy, she shows up with her list of endless questions!”

And how does that make you feel?

“It’s exhausting! I swear, I have done everything to earn her trust. I make sure my words and actions align, my decisions match our corporate values, and I have always told her the truth. She makes me second-guess everything!”

That does sound exhausting.

“Yeah, she is like a toddler, always asking me “why?” I wish she would trust me!”

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Something Is in The Room

I don’t normally take the last flight of the night. It feels too risky. If the flight is canceled, I have to go home and wait another day. But in this case, it worked out.

My 9 pm flight was on time. When I landed, I got an Uber. My driver, John, confirmed my destination. He then said, “I assume you did your research before booking your hotel?”

My heart dropped; it was late, and I just wanted a good night's sleep. I replied, “Oh, my client booked the hotel for me. I was hoping it was decent.”

He laughed and said, “It’s really nice! The best hotel in the city for sure, but it is also one of the ten most haunted hotels in the country.”

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What kind of person to you want to be?

We were sitting in a circle. About 30 of us had gathered in central Wisconsin for a facilitator training event. As we waited for the session to begin, I looked around, sizing up my fellow participants.

My gut told me that a woman across the circle from me was someone I wanted to know. I was unaware that she was thinking the same thing about me. As fate would have it, we were assigned to the same small group, and that was how we discovered that we lived about 30 minutes from each other.

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I’ve Had a Lot Going On

Marc is a gem of a human. He’s an educator and the kind person who brings home stray dogs. He can’t walk past an Angel Tree without selecting a name, and he would give you the shirt off his back. People often describe Marc as “such a good guy.”

A few years ago, Marc began to get invitations to speak at professional development events for educators. The events were small and local, but he always over-delivered. He loved sharing his classroom expertise, and over time, he received more speaking invitations.

Earlier this year, Marc realized he needed to overhaul his basic website to book larger events. He also knew he had a limited web design skill set, so he hired a professional.

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A Problem, a Pattern, or a Pain in the A**

One of the things I enjoy about working with healthy leaders is their commitment to personal growth. They not only seek excellence in their craft, but they also embrace a strong desire for self-improvement. These people are the stewards of progress, the champions of innovation, the leaders who approach challenges with a relentless hunger for learning.

I have a working theory about how we should approach opportunities for growth. Leaders in all industries need to consider the following question: Is the moment I am facing a problem, a pattern, or am I dealing with a pain in the a**?

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Leadership Lessons from a Musical Masterpiece

Moonlight Sonata is a famous classical piece of music. You have likely heard this composition and noticed the haunting nature of it. It’s the kind of song that you can feel moving toward something powerful. It builds with the purpose of telling a story without words.

Recently, my brain was in a mental tug-of-war. I was listening to a recording of Moonlight Sonata by a musician named Isaac Schankler. In this version, he added a fascinating twist to the performance. While recording the song, one of Isaac’s hands was playing a measure ahead of the other hand. His hands were performing the same song, but they were not in sync.

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A Band of Brothers

In the diverse landscape of the music industry, there are just a few bands whose impact transcends mere melodies to become a force for positive change in the world. Among these luminaries stands a band whose musical talent is matched only by their unwavering commitment to social justice and advocacy. They have crafted timeless classics and have used their platform to amplify the voices of the voiceless, the silenced, and the marginalized. Their journey is a testament to the harmony of art and activism.

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Storm Stories

The texts from my Midwest friends came in like a flood. “Are you ok? Are you going to evacuate? How bad is it?”

Wait, wait?

I was at an Airbnb in Florida. My condo was about 150 yards from the beach, so I used the context clues and guessed that a storm was brewing. I opened a trusted weather app, and sure enough, a massive storm was headed right for me. I hadn’t seen anything on the news, the locals weren’t talking about it, and my Airbnb host hadn’t checked in with me. I wasn’t sure how concerned I should be.

A few hours later, I drove to Tampa for a couple of speaking engagements. The clouds were rolling in, the wind had picked up, and I watched the palm trees sway from side to side, bending like rubber. It was the middle of the day, but the darkness of the sky painted a different picture.  

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A Series of Unfortunate Events

Do you remember the film called Lemony Snicket's? I couldn’t tell you one thing about that movie, except for the fact that the subtitle was “A Series of Unfortunate Events.”

I recently experienced my own series of unfortunate events, and I’ll do my best to recount the story accurately. But honestly, it was such a strange night that I am not sure I can trust my own memory. As I write this, I keep thinking, “Did that really happen?”

I had arrived in Philadelphia for a four-day event with some entrepreneurs. Many of us flew in the night before, and the organization we were working with had arranged dinner plans for us. We met in the hotel lobby and drove to The Cheesecake Factory.

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I Did this to Myself

This was unplanned, a total surprise, yet here I am with no choice but to be in this moment.

It had been weeks of coming and going. I would hit the road for two or three days and then be home for one day, only to turn around and repeat this pattern. I managed the busyness well by staying one step ahead of the chaos. The most challenging thing in this season was trying to eat well. It’s hard to keep produce fresh when I am traveling so much.

I had just returned after being away for two days, and there wasn’t much in my refrigerator.

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Turning Over a New Leaf

I have a complex relationship with this time of the year. Winter is my least favorite season, and fall – for me – is just a reminder that colder months are on the horizon. As the days grow shorter and the chill sets in, I find myself staying inside, burying myself under warm blankets, and hibernating until the warmth returns.

Last week, while I languished in my fall funk, I was contemplating if I should go for a walk. I looked at the upcoming weather forecast, and it was clear this day was one of very few nice days left on the calendar.

But the truth is, I didn’t want to go for a walk. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I didn’t want to change my clothes and put on different shoes, find my headphones, or fill my water bottle. It had been a full day, and I was craving rest. The last thing I wanted to do was be in motion.

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She Said "No."

My alarm went off at 4:15, and by 6:15, I was seated on a plane and ready to take a nap. It was going to be a long travel day. One of the things I like about living in the Midwest is being able to get almost anywhere in the country in a single day. However, East Coast trips often require a connecting flight and sometimes a long layer. This day would include both.

Around 1:30, I stepped out of my Uber and into a hotel lobby. I was happy to be at my final destination. I knew I was arriving about 90 minutes before the established check-in time, but often, a well-run hotel will work to get you a room right away.

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Not This

It’s another Friday afternoon at Lambert Airport in St. Louis. For some reason, today feels different. I used to like this airport. It is close to my house, it has a limited number of gates, which means it is manageable, and it is simple to navigate. But at this moment, I only see the things I dislike.

For example, good luck finding any food that wasn’t first frozen and then deep fried. Your options here are limited. Additionally, I can promise that 75% of the time, the escalator to the baggage claim area will be shut down for repairs. Be prepared to hull your carry-on luggage down a flight of steps.

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All Over The Map

One skill on that shortlist is my ability to see connections. I am a natural observer. I notice patterns. I am deeply aware that what seems unrelated is often interconnected and mental maps of these connections come easily to me.

As a result, I am hyperaware when something is routinely showing up in my life. Over the last month, on three different occasions, I have had the same conversation with three different leaders. At various stages in my own journey, I, too, have wrestled with the question they each presented.

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A Leader I Will Follow

We all have our quirks, the things that make us who we are. When we think about the people we love, some of what makes them unique causes us to laugh, roll our eyes, or shrug our shoulders because we know that is who they are.

I have a fear of deep, open water. Imagine this scene. I am at the beach, vacationing with friends. We’ve been hanging out on the shore for hours, and as the sun lingers, someone says, “I’m roasting; let’s get in the water and cool off.”  

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Square Dancing, Funnel Cakes, and Leadership

Nearly three decades ago, I decided to transfer to Belmont University in Nashville, Tn. Little did I know that I would sit next to my future best friend, MaryAnn, on the first day of transfer student orientation. We found ourselves laughing about something that no one else found funny, and it became a lifelong bond.

Our friendship included a standing invitation to visit her family each summer. They lived in a small, rural Tennessee town called Smithville. I quickly learned that the best weekend to visit was the 4th of July, when her community was transformed into a bluegrass destination for people across the southeast.

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