Take Care of Your People
It is no secret: I love to read. Regardless of the topic, I am often thinking about how what I am reading applies to leadership. Recently I was reading Standing at the Edge by Joan Halifax. She shared a story about some work that she had done in the Bahamas, and that story resonated with me.
“My work afforded me the rare chance to witness a female octopus spawn her eggs after she was fertilized. Hundreds of thousands of translucent, teardrop-shaped eggs, each the size of a grain of rice, were spun out of her mantle into long, lacy strands that hung in the water of the aquarium where she was captive. As the weeks passed, she floated like a cloud above them, not hunting or eating, just gently moving the water around the knotted thread of eggs that were slowly maturing. Hovering over her eggs, keeping them aerated, she hardly budged, and her body slowly began to disintegrate, becoming food for her brood as they hatched. The mother octopus died to feed her offspring, her flesh the communion meal for her hatchlings.”
I read that passage through the lens of leadership and I sadly must admit that I do know a few people who have tried to approach leadership through a model of self-sacrifice. Compare this to the chimpanzees which have been known to kill and eat their young – also, not a good model of leadership! In the presence of great leaders, I have consistently experienced an approach that isn’t rooted in total self-sacrifice or the sacrifice of others, but rather an intentional display of care and concern for all.
In order to take care of our people, we cannot sacrifice ourselves; it simply isn’t sustainable long-term. Our own self-care is a part of taking care of others. We are both: the leader and the other. In making self-care a part of our leadership journey we are modeling what healthy choices look like. For example, your people need to see you setting boundaries for the hours you work, the time of day that you will reply to email, using your vacation days, and getting out of the office for lunch. These decisions not only aid in your own self-care but also serve as a road map of self-care for those you are leading. In doing these things for yourself, you are giving your people permission to do the same.
Leaders also must be intentional about reaching out to and caring for their people in tangible and intentional ways. When I come into a new group, I often ask people how their leaders demonstrate care for them. If people cannot provide specific answers, I tend to question if their leaders are focused on caring for their people. In order to take care of others you must become a great “noticer” and actively wrestle with the following questions: What matters to those you are leading? What are their long-term goals and dreams? How do they want to be cared for? What areas do they want to invest in for their own professional growth and development? When we notice these things, it should influence the ways we interact with and invest in our people.
When you make caring for your people a way of leading, you are inviting others to bring their whole selves to the work they are doing. By deeply noticing others and responding appropriately, you are acknowledging the fullness and uniqueness of each individual. Embedding the practice of noticing and responding to the needs of your people into your leadership culture will ultimately create a space of unlimited abundance because we are encouraging those around us to eliminate self-imposed barriers. When we fail to take care of our people, we may inadvertently be asking them to check the best parts of themselves at the door. We are all better when everyone can bring their full selves to their work.
As a leader, you are not responsible for filling the cups of others. You are, however, responsible to keep pouring. Be the kind of leader who pauses to fill her own cup and then continues to pour into others regardless of the current outcome. We can’t force people to take what we are offering, but we can and should be the leader who chooses to keep showing up.
Don’t be the octopus or the chimpanzee; be the leader who takes care of their people.
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