Potlucks, the Hokey Pokey, & Tiger King

It is no secret that I love a good meal, especially one that includes meaningful conversations with friends who I care about deeply. But oddly, I find the invitation to a potluck to be very stressful. First, I am never sure what to bring. I find myself wondering if this is a casserole crowd, or wine and cheese people, or maybe they are fans of homemade salsa with chips. This matters to me because I want people to enjoy what I bring to the table. And secondly, I worry if there will be enough food for everyone. If I decide to bring chips and salsa, how many bags of chips should I bring? I want to make sure that I bring enough.  

For me, the invitation to a potluck is way more stressful than it should be, but there are two very important life lessons I have learned from attending potlucks: We all bring something different to the table and, while I do not understand how this happens, at every potluck I have ever attended there has always been enough.   

This mental picture of a potluck connects well to my own life’s journey. As I think about all the ways I am being asked to show up in the world, I often find myself questioning what I bring to the table (to the world) and wondering if I will bring (or be) enough. This fear of not being enough has been a steady and constant undercurrent in my life. Each time I feel a pull to show up in new ways, to take a leap, to make a shift, or to say yes to the unknown, I have to make a conscious decision to bring what I have to that journey and trust that it will be enough. 

And yet there have been numerous mile markers in my life where I have found myself thinking, “not me, not now, I’m not ready.” This fear creates a paradox where my own limiting belief tells me not to show up because I’m not enough, but it is in the showing up that I realize I actually am enough. Each new opportunity feels like some sort of cosmic Hokey-Pokey. Internally the music begins to play and “I put my right foot in, I take my right foot out.” When the music stops, will I be all in or will I be all out? And once again I have to ask myself if I have the courage to fully show up to my own life. 

The reality is each time I embrace what is next in my journey, I rediscover that my skills and gifts are enough. I am also reminded that I am not the only one who feels this way, because every time I show up I see others who have also come to the table, to gather together in spite of their fears to say yes to whatever is next for them. In these moments, I have to change the story I am telling myself. Instead of questioning my ability, I have to remind myself that the most inspirational people I know were showing up, saying yes, and doing the work long before they were perceived as successful by others. Baked into the showing up is both the risk and the reward, but my experience has been that the reward far outweighs the risk.  

So, who are you to show up in the world, to come to the table with your limited gifts and your abundance of fear? Well, a guy known as Joe Exotic had his own hit Netflix series called Tiger King, so whatever it is you feel you are supposed to do, I think you are more than qualified. 

We each bring something different to the table, to life, to leadership, to our work, to our colleagues, to our teams, to our teammates, and to the collective human experience. As long as we all keep showing up there will be enough. Like every potluck I have ever attended, somehow there is always enough.  

Wouldn’t life be better if we all embraced this mantra: bring what you have and take what you need. This applies at a potluck and it applies in life.  

We are enough.  

Let’s keep showing up. 

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