Absolute Understanding

I was standing in line waiting to board my flight when I first noticed him. He was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans, a USA hat, and holding a long white cane. He was a few feet away from me in the area where the pre-board passengers had gathered.

Another woman soon joined him. She asked why he had been traveling. He shared that he had been on the east coast trying out for the USA Hockey Team.

Her jaw dropped.

He explained that it is an adaptive sport and although he is blind, he can fully participate. He then took a deep breath and said, “I don’t know if I made the team yet, but it was an awesome experience.”

I smiled. At first glance, I thought I knew the thesis statement of his life story, but I only knew a part. The truth is, I may have been standing across from a future Olympian.

We boarded the plane, and I took a seat across the aisle and two rows back from him. This was a completely full flight so the airline attendants were doing their best at luggage-Jenga. This young man had placed his roller bag directly above his seat. However, because he was in the front of the plane, the overhead bins were slightly smaller, and the length of his bag prevented the bin door from closing.

In a swift move, a flight attendant grabbed his bag and announced, “I need to move this bag to the back.” I suddenly became very invested, and I watched where she put his bag. As I turned to face forward, I could see from his body language that he too was concerned.

As she walked to the front of the plane she stopped and said to him, “I found a new spot for your bag.”

He replied, “Where is it?” (Long pause) “I won’t be able to see it.”

What happened next moved my heart right into my throat. She placed a hand on his shoulder and said, “I absolutely understand. It’s above row 12. I will get it for you and bring it to you.”

There was something about the way she said, “I absolutely understand.”

For me, absolute understanding is less about knowing or agreeing with the details and more about honoring the truth in someone else’s story. The fact is, she doesn’t understand what it is like to navigate the world without sight. She can close her eyes, or she can imagine being blind, but she is not blind. However, I am at a place in my life where I don’t believe I have to understand your pain, anxiety, or fear to know that it is real. Absolute understanding is a choice to live with compassion and I want to make that choice more often.

This time of year is one of transition for so many people. Five-year-old children arrive in a classroom for the first time, college freshmen realize how much they don’t know, and new graduates move into the workforce while retirees move out. The entire human system is in a state of flux. We are all experiencing a shift as our fellow humans settle into new roles with new responsibilities.

A spirit of absolute understanding allows others to bring their full selves to the spaces where they work, learn, or play. Absolute understanding celebrates the fullness of the diverse human experience. It honors that which is public or visible and that which is written in the fine print of our lives. My experience has taught me that high-performing teams and organizations function with this type of understanding.  

For all of us, as leaders, teammates, teachers, and fellow humans the invitation is to simply honor someone else's truth. I don’t have to know the details; I can simply choose to understand.

Here’s to less knowing and more absolute understanding.

And go Team USA …

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