How Could This Be Easy?
Music has always come naturally to me. Prior to Kindergarten I started violin lessons, in elementary school I began piano lessons before falling in love with the saxophone in the 5th-grade band. In college, I picked up the guitar while studying at The Commercial School of Music at Belmont University in Nashville. I have been on stage with jazz bands, concert bands, and orchestras but my most cherished musical moment happens as a member of the audience.
It is common practice, particularly in classical music, to hold your applause until you are certain that a song is complete. This is tricky because many classical pieces were written as movements; one section is played, followed by silence, and then the next section is played. This pattern may be repeated several times before the song concludes with applause from the audience. In between the sections we collectively embrace the silence; the silence is a part of the larger movement. There is something sacred about sharing silence and waiting together with a room full of strangers. I love this moment.
I experience this not just in music but also in life. Most recently it happened when I arrived for a massage. I have been seeing this massage therapist for several years. It takes a special kind of trust to let someone see and touch all my insecurities, the parts of myself that I intentionally cover up every day.
Additionally, it makes no sense to lie to her. I have learned that when she asks if I feel like I am drinking enough water it is likely that she used half a gallon of lotion during my massage. Or, when she asks if I have been meditating it may mean that my shoulders are so tense that they are above my ear lobes. And when she asks if I am stretching enough before and after I run, well, as the great philosopher Sharika said, “the hips don’t lie!”
As I entered the massage room on this day she asked, “How I can help you today?”
Since we have an honest relationship, I said something like, “I am about to hit the road for a ton of face-to-face work with clients, many of whom I haven’t seen in a year and a half, and I think I am feeling stressed about this.”
She calmly replied, “Oh, how wonderful.”
I continued without taking a breath, “Yeah, but with COVID things could get canceled and I really need this work because face-to-face events are high ticket events and I am stressed about the travel and all the unknowns and I just feel like there is so much stress right now and I think I am carrying it all in my body and I’m trying to stay in front of things but this is just such a crazy time!”
And without missing a beat she said, “In your work, you know how important visualization is. So, when you face obstacles ask yourself, “How could this be easy?” and all the obstacles will melt away.”
I stood there in silence for a few moments while her words sank in. I wanted to jump up and down and yell, “YES! That is what I needed to hear!! THANK YOU!!!” But I also knew that this, much like a classical piece of music, was just the first section of a larger movement, there was more to come, and I didn’t want to put an exclamation point where an ellipsis should be. So, I just nodded my headed and quietly said, “thank you.”
Weeks later I am still struck by the power of her question, “How could this be easy?” We live in a world that embraces things like “hustle and grind,” or “you’ve got to have grit,” and “hard work eats talent for breakfast.” But what if our cliches are wrong? What if we can do meaningful work, hard work, without sacrificing ourselves in the process?
Her question forces me to think about how I am contributing to or co-creating the resistance I am experiencing in a stressful situation. By pausing to consider this reality I am breaking a cycle, allowing time for a reset, and creating a new experience for myself. This is important because it allows me to have some control in situations that may otherwise feel out of control.
This morning I am replaying the entire piece in my mind, waiting in the silence to see what will unfold next. I am trusting that the silence will spark a movement. Much like my childhood days of learning to practice an instrument, I want to practice asking myself, “How could this be easy?”
As you navigate a difficult and ever-changing world where you are often asked to lead projects, lead others, lead yourself, and lead your life, I hope you too can pause to consider, “How could this be easy?”
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