Stay Close to Your People

I had been with this team for a few months. During my visits to campus, I observed a handful of practices, watched some home games, and led the team through several team-building sessions. It was clear from the start that this group had the potential to do something really special this year.

On this particular day, I had a meeting scheduled with the head coach. This is a coach who has won at every level and just a year ago she had accepted the job to try and rebuild this program. All outward signs were that the team was headed in the right direction, but I had a growing concern about one player who didn’t seem to be on board with the new and emerging culture of the program.

While there are a lot of ways I work with teams or organizations, a consistent truth is that I am often the one who says what needs to be said. To quote one coach, “We work with Molly because we trust her to tell us what we need to hear.” This can be uncomfortable at times, but as a former coach myself, I know the value of having an outside perspective from someone who wants a coach and team to be successful.

I walked into her office, which was filled with NCAA awards (as well as National Team and Olympic memorabilia), to discuss my insights and observations. In our meeting, I shared that I had concerns about a specific student-athlete. I questioned this player’s commitment to the team and to the culture. The coach’s response was immediate, direct, and compassionate. She didn’t miss a beat as she said, “Molly, when I committed to this program I committed to every player on this roster. As long as she chooses to be a part of this team, I am committed to her. Let’s figure out how to get her on board.”

There is a reason why this coach has been so successful; she understands the significance of her influence. In elite college athletics, job security is rooted in winning, so the temptation to quickly cut ties with anyone who doesn’t immediately set you up for success is very strong. The “if you aren’t for us, you must be against us” mindset is prevalent at this level, and yet, instead of pushing this player away, cutting her, or suggesting she transfer, this coach did the exact opposite—she reached out to this player and pulled her closer.

Based on the conviction of this coach, I would guess that she too had leaders in her life who walked with her on her own journey. This type of leadership leaves an imprint on our lives that we can’t help but model for others. When we have been transformed by the presence of a healthy leader, we seek to recreate that experience for those we are now leading.

If you have followed me for a while, you will not be surprised to hear that I believe that leadership is influence. I also believe that our influence resides in the space between our relationships. If we choose to keep a distance from those we are leading, then we will dilute our influence, but when we intentionally stay close to those who we are leading we maximize our influence. Staying close to people amplifies our influence.

The most successful leaders I know understand that connectedness in leadership is a two-way street. In other words, if we want people to follow us, to trust us, and to be connected to us as their leader, then we have to choose to do the same for our followers. Leadership is best done side-by-side and not from a remote distance.

This has been one of our greatest leadership challenges during a long season of social distancing. I am aware that as we emerge and shift into this next phase of how we interact with others, many people are expressing a sense of disconnection from their leaders. This disconnection is a reflection of the physical distance that this year has demanded. It will be critical for leaders to be purposeful in how they begin the process of engaging and walking with people again.

This is also a good season in life to perform a personal inventory on your leadership authenticity. Are you, like the coach I previously mentioned, fully committed to walking with your people? Are you willing to reconnect and rebuild relationships that may have been strained during this season of life? Are you sensing a desire to maximize your influence as a leader?

The best gift we can give to our people right now is to be with them; to walk with them, to recommit to them, to work side by side with them, and to rebuild relationships with them.

 If you want to maximize your influence, then make the conscious decision to stay close to your people.

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