The Things that Haunt Us
For several decades, a friend group of mine has talked about visiting Waverly Hills in Louisville. Waverly Hills – a former sanatorium – is believed to be haunted. They offer late-night group tours as well as overnight paranormal experiences. For the last 20 years, we were big talkers, but that all changed last weekend.
From 1910 to 1961 Waverly Hills – with over 400 beds – was home to Tuberculous patients. The campus was designed as a self-contained community. They grew produce and raised animals to be slaughtered, had laundry facilities, and well as a water treatment plant. The grounds included their own post office and unique zip code.
We arrived late at night with the hope that we would experience something supernatural! We had heard stories of capturing the paranormal in photos, seeing doors randomly close, and people having a sixth sense that a spirit was present. I wish I could share some wild story about my experience – I can’t – but I can share something that stood out to me.
As we toured the five floors of the main building, I noticed a theme in what our guide was saying. Over and over, she mentioned how decisions were made to create “good morale.” Keep in mind, for decades there was no cure for Tuberculous. In many ways, Tuberculous was a death sentence. At its peak, Wavery Hills was losing one person every hour, so good morale seemed like an interesting priority to me.
The floorplan was designed so that healthier patients didn’t have to interact with and witness the condition of the near-death patients. Additionally, operating rooms were strategically placed out of sight. However, the final straw for me was visiting the “Body Chute.” Again, to keep morale up, the deceased would be sent to the morgue and then taken through a 500-foot underground tunnel where an ambulance, hearse, or train would be waiting. All of this was done in the name of morale since it would be depressing to see a hearse arrive once an hour.
I can imagine that it would be very difficult to be surrounded by so much death and suffering. However, the idea that reality would be intentionally hidden didn’t feel right to me. What some championed in the name of morale, I felt lacked integrity.
I began to think about how this connects to my clients. As I work with teams, we frequently realize additional limiters need to be addressed. I have four key questions I often ask to help accelerate the growth of a team:
How is leadership impacting the team? How is conflict impacting the team? How is the personal growth of individuals impacting the team? And, how is the culture impacting the team?
These are not quick and easy questions, but the one that seems to cause the most stress is how the personal growth of an individual is impacting the group. A response I frequently hear sounds like, “Ok, so we know that Rachel is a big issue. Her basic work ethic and limited interpersonal skills are slowing us down. She is difficult to work with and her behaviors are toxic. How do we tell her this without hurting her feelings?”
We should never approach a hard conversation with the hope of hurting someone. I believe it is healthy to pause and consider the impact of our words. However, I would like to suggest a different question:
How can we support Rachel before, during, and after this conversation?
This approach shifts us from limiting the conversation – we don’t want her to feel pain – to a decision to walk with someone on their personal growth path.
Some of my biggest transformations have been painful, but the pain inspired the change. In my early 30’s I needed life-saving surgery. It wasn’t until the pain was unbearable that I finally got help. The decision to change my career was rooted not only in the desire to create something new but also in the frustration of the environment I was working in at the time. Dealing with that pain propelled me forward and moved me to a better place. And on a much smaller scale, I caught my pinky toe on the leg of my couch twice and decided to wear flip-flops in my tv room! Pain can lead to change.
When we go to the extreme of limiting a message in the name of morale, we may be removing an important element. The decisions to be honest AND support someone as they process our honesty can co-exist.
At Waverly Hills, the truth about what they were facing was out of sight. People died and were ushered through a chute in the ground all in the name of feeling good. When teams allow teammates to go unchecked, they are doing the same thing. Having honest conversations – not avoiding them – can lead to good morale.
Tens of thousands have traveled to Waverly Hills. They arrive with the hope of getting a glimpse of the spirits they believe to be trapped there. When we fail to speak honestly with others, we run the risk of creating an environment where negative behaviors are forever trapped within our organizational culture.
Don’t let the decision to avoid honest conversations be the thing that haunts you forever.
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