Pay it Forward
Recently I started watching a new television show called Away. It’s about five people from five different countries who travel to Mars for a three-year space exploration mission. It is not necessarily the type of show that I am normally drawn to, but I admit it, I am fascinated by the blending of cultures and personalities.
In one episode, while traveling to Mars, the crew’s water system malfunctions and they must rely on limited water rations until they can find a solution. This also means they must stop watering all the plants on the spaceship in order to save what water they do have for themselves.
But there is one plant in their garden that seems to defy all the odds as it continues to grow without water while all the other plants around it die. The crew is baffled as to how this lone plant can continue to grow.
At the same time, the crew’s commander is beginning to behave very irrationally. It takes some time for the crew to realize that the commander is suffering from major dehydration because she has been giving her water rations to this plant. She was paying it forward, investing in the future plant life of Mars. In many ways our leadership is like water for others; it should be life-giving. Leaders should be invested in the growth of others, and leadership should be a regenerative and healing process.
While humans have an internal skeleton (all animals have either an internal or an external skeleton), plants lack a skeletal structure. Plants rely on the pressure of the water within their cells to give them the form and structure needed to stay upright. When a healthy leader enters a system, their water—that is, their leadership—should provide form, structure, and support for others.
Parker Palmer often talks about the Tragic Gap, having one foot in the world as we know it and one foot in the world we want to create. Healthy individuals are able to stand in the tension of the Tragic Gap. Paying it forward also requires us to hold the tension between investing in someone’s future self while not sacrificing ourselves in the process. This tension exists between taking care of others and taking care of ourselves. If we don’t invest in those around us, we have failed as leaders. However, if we lose ourselves in the process we have also failed. This is a difficult and often unsettling balancing act for leaders.
Paying it forward does not require total self-sacrifice. It does not include any conditions of reciprocity, validation, or credit because paying it forward is unconditional. It is a way to say, “I see you and I am with you.” The act may be as simple as living according to the idea that we should all give what we have and take what we need. This approach fosters a culture of wellness where everyone benefits and we all, leaders included, continue to grow.
The reality is our leadership is not only held within our being; it’s in us, around us, and given to and from others. Our leadership should not be held onto like a limited water ration. Rather, we should strive to pour out our leadership for the welfare and nourishment of others while allowing others to do the same for us.
Who in your circle of influence needs a ration of your water? And who can you count on to provide a ration for yourself?
Healthy leaders seek to give themselves to what is meaningful: the growth of others and the growth of self.
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