Leaders Are Bridge Builders
It was a Saturday morning in late August and the college soccer team I was coaching was wrapping up a few grueling weeks of preseason. During this time our players’ bodies and minds had been pushed to a new level as we attempted to lay the foundation for our upcoming season.
On this day, I could hear players coming and going from our locker room (which was situated next to my office) and I sensed that the energy was going to be high at practice that day. A few minutes before I needed to walk to the field there was a knock on my door and our starting senior goalkeeper and a freshman midfielder walked into my office. Our goalkeeper was well respected on our team. She was an effective leader who was trusted by the players and the coaching staff alike. The freshman who was with her was a key player and someone I had developed a positive relationship with during the recruiting process. I was surprised when they came into the office together because they weren’t in the same academic class, they didn’t play the same position, they had only met a few weeks ago, and they weren’t necessarily close friends yet. They seemed like an odd pair to me.
The senior did all the talking, beginning with, “Hey, do we still have extra practice gear in the back closet?” She went on to share that the laundry for this freshman didn’t make it into her locker that day and she was going to need something to wear at practice. The reality is this happened from time to time since all teams on campus had their laundry washed by the employees in the Recreation Center. Sometimes we’d end up with a pair of volleyball shorts or a softball jersey in our laundry cart, but in time it always worked out. Our senior grabbed some extra gear for the young freshman and they were on their way to practice.
At that moment I found myself confused as I wondered why this freshman, who I had a good relationship with, didn’t just come and tell me herself? Was I reading my relationship with her wrong? Did she not feel comfortable telling me what she needed? Why did this upperclassman come with her? And then it hit me.
We had spent a lot of time with our leaders in the offseason talking about the fact that leaders need to be bridge builders. Leaders need to help connect others and, in the process, help the team move from where we are to where we want to be. That is what this upperclassman did in this moment.
It is likely that our young freshman panicked a little when she realized that all of her laundry was missing. She probably wasn’t sure what to do or what to even say to me, and then one of our team leaders became a bridge for her. In that moment, our senior could have easily said to that freshman, “it’s no big deal, it happens, just go talk to Coach,” but instead she decided to be a bridge, to walk with her into my office and to explain what had happened. In taking this simple action step, she connected this young teammate with the resources she needed. This is what leaders do: they serve as bridges, as connectors, they create a path to move forward.
And this has been a challenge for many leaders during COVID. How do we connect people, how do we build bridges and develop healthy relationships, how do we create a path that allows people to move from where they are to where they want to be when we can’t physically be with them? This was one of my most significant pain points during a season of social distancing. For months I felt out of alignment with my own purpose. I felt guilty for not being able to physically show up and help build bridges with those I serve.
But there was a turning point for me when I realized that building bridges from a distance was difficult, but possible. The perimeter of social distancing forced me to listen more deeply and to hear with all my other senses because I could not rely on just seeing the needs of others. In many ways, my listening skills not only improved but became more holistic as I worked to connect with people, build bridges in relationships, and create paths all from a physical distance. While I love leading side by side and in the physical presence of others, I discovered that I can still lead when I am not physically present. I learned that it is possible to see people deeply from a distance.
This reminds me of the image of water in a stream when it hits a natural dam or barrier. Oftentimes, the water works to carve a new path. It slowly erodes the soil or moves up, around, and through other elements in nature to find a way to continue on its journey toward a particular destination. This is what leading from a distance felt like to me. I hit a barrier and then I had to do the hard work of carving out a new path to continue my purpose. Sometimes we are like water and need to find a new way and sometimes we are the bridge over the ever-changing water.
My fear as we shift into this next stage of COVID protocols is that leaders will fail to recognize the depth of seeing and hearing that people will need. As our physical lives begin to merge again in public spaces, I am worried that leaders will revert to simply seeing the physical presence of others while failing to see others with an intentional depth that involves relying on all of our senses. And at the same time, I am encouraged by the conversations I am having with leaders who are asking hard questions and wrestling with the reality that we can’t just “go back to normal,” but rather that we need to be intentional with how we choose to move forward.
As leaders, we can choose to see people with just one of our senses or we can choose to lead with all of our senses. Let’s find a way to lead by building bridges, connecting others, and—like a stream of water—let’s be purposeful about carving a new path when we face a barrier. After a season of feeling disconnected, people now more than ever need leaders who will choose to be bridge builders.
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