Love Those You Lead

Can you imagine running a business that turned over 25% of its workforce annually? Can you imagine how difficult it would be to sustain a healthy and thriving culture with this kind of turnover? Even worse, what if the people who were leaving every year were your most influential leaders? Can you imagine how exhausting it would be to not only replace 25% of your workforce but to also develop your C-Suite annually?

Welcome to college athletics.

At the end of each season, a senior class (roughly 25% of a college roster), and the likely keepers of the team’s culture and the trusted leaders, graduate. This makes the constant development of leaders critical to the success of any collegiate team, but what I have observed in elite-level college athletics transcends all industries.

I was on campus with one of my private clients and I had a day of office hours with their players, coaches, and staff. By this point, I had been with this team for several years, so I knew their culture very well. One of the challenges we were facing for the upcoming year was to discern who we wanted the team leaders to be. There were a few players who had dominant voices, but they were not using their voices for good and certainly were not bridge-builders within the program. We wanted to be intentional about inviting the right players to lead rather than putting our livelihood in the hands of self-appointed leaders.

The coaching staff was open to who we might want to invest in as future leaders but there was one thing we knew for sure: “Player A” absolutely could not be a trusted leader on this team. This player had a clear pattern of acting one way in front of the coaches and staff, and another way when we weren’t around. Her inconsistent behavior resulted in her teammates, coaches, and staff not trusting her.

On this particular day, “Player A” walked into the office to meet with me. She sat down and said something like, “Hey, I have a question about leadership. I really see myself as the only leader on this team, but my question is this: how do I lead them when I can’t stand them? I wouldn’t have recruited any of them and I am not friends with any of them. I am only around them because I have to be. So, how do I lead them?”

My reply? “You don’t. Leaders love their people, and it sounds like you don’t even like them, let alone love them.”

Needless to say, this was not the response she wanted from me, but it was honest, and it needed to be said. As I think about my core values there are a few concepts that serve as a lynchpin in my work (the things that if they aren’t true, it all falls apart for me) and the idea that leaders love their people is one of those lynchpins. If that is not true, then I need to find another line of work.

Leaders have two ways to approach their work. The first option is to be of service because people love you as their leader, they admire you and see how you can help them, and in return, they choose to follow you. The second option is to be of service simply because you love your people and expect nothing in return. While this shift may seem subtle the difference in how it feels is seismic.

When you serve those you are leading because they love you, your leadership is transactional and conditional. When you serve those you are leading because you love them, your leadership is relational and unconditional. There is tremendous power in relational, unconditional leadership.

We need to be intentional about developing leaders who lead from a place of loving others. If we can do that in an industry that turns over 25% of its workforce annually, then surely we can do this in more stable industries.

Great leaders love their people regardless of what they get in return. If you don’t love your people, step aside. We need leaders who will lead from a place of love.

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